Zehi, Amai Shi
by hot dog285
Summary: Sailor Moon, written with the same thoughts ad emotions as Evangelion.


Usagi Tsukino was sleeping. Nothing was unsusal about that, especially not after a day like this one. First she was late getting up, her mother still in bed with her latest man; then on her way to school, while she was slowing down, thinking she may not be late, a rare thing indeed, she saw some small children torturing a cat. After getting them away, she peeled a bandaid off of its head, only for it to walk away from her. This caused her to be late, and then, on top of all that, on the test that she didn't want to be late for, she failed, causing her mother to kick her out for the day.

Now, though, she could sleep, escape the soul-crushing monotony and reality of her life. Suddenly, as she was dreaming, there was a noise. She shot up, wide awake, looking for anything hiding in the darkness of her room. Not seeing anything, she still didn't let her guard down; _not after last time,_ she thought to herself, quickly repressing the memory. As she drifted off to sleep again, she felt something on her bed. Scared, she almost screamed... at least, until she saw what it was. It was a black cat, with what could almost be described as a crescent moon on it's head. it was the cat she had saved earleir, she realized dimly.

"Hey," she said quietly, "what're you doing here so late, and how did you get in?"

"I got in through the window, you left it open, and I'm here for you." the cat spoke.

Wait, the cat _spoke_.

"The Hell?!" she almost yelled, almost, because she didn't know if her mother was home yet.

"Let me introduce myself," the cat continued, "I'm Luna, and I have been looking for you for a long time."

"Alright," Usagi said, with a not insignificant amount of fear in her voice, "how are you talking, and why have you been looking for me?"

"I am a Moon Cat, and I have been looking for the Sailor Senshi, soldiers of love, justice, and all that is good. I need them to fight, or the entire world may fall."

"Why me though," she asked, sadness and confusion in her voice, "I'm just a below average teenage girl who is in a bad situation, what could I possibly do? Why don't you get someone else to do it? What can _I_ do?"

"Miss, you are Sailor Moon, a soldier of love and justice, one who fights evil. I'll prove it."

With that, the cat jumped and did a back flip. When the cat flipped, a locket came of out nowhere and fell to her bed.

Picking it up, Usagi asked, "What does it do?"

"It will let you transform into Sailor Moon, just say 'moon prisim power'."

With a fair amount of uncertainty in her voice, "Um... moon... prism... power?" she said.

As she uttered the last word, she rose into the air, lifted by an unknown force. Her clothes disappeared, leaving her nude. But before she could feel self-conscious and embarrassed, clothing began appearing on her body. Within seconds, a leotard had formed, covering most of her body. Shortly followed by a short skirt around her waist. Immediately after, gloves and boots appeared. Then a light appeared, encircling her head rapidly before vanishing, leaving a tiara on her head in its wake. The unknown force setting her down, she said the first thing that came to mind. "...Why am I in a seifuku?"

"Blame a somewhat hardcore feminist lesbian royal."

About to ask what the hell Luna meant by that, she was cut off by a cry for help.

"What was that?" sha asked.

"That jewlery isn't just for show, it serves a purpose. It lets you hear much better, and the tiara can be used for attacking."

"Are all the senshi armed to the teeth?"

"Not really, but each of them has their own role in a team."

* * *

Responding to the cry for help, Usagi opened the door to the Osa-P jewlery store.

"What exactly," she asked with a mix of fear and uncertainty in her voice, "is going on here?"

As she asked this, she saw some sort of monster strangling a young redheaded girl. The monster, its back turned to her, slowly turned it's head to face her. As the head turned, she could see the muscles and veins bulging and straining, she could hear its spine snapping and reconnecting in a disgusting symphony. Like a trainwreck, she couldn't stop watching, no matter how much she wanted to, no matter how disgusted she was, she just couldn't stop watching.

"So," it spoke in a raspy voice, almost as it it hadn't spoken in years, "a little girl thinks she can stop me. Just who do you think you are?"

"I am Sailor Moon," she said, putting on a brave face, "and I will fight things like you."

Chuckling, it threw the girl into a wall. The girl's lower back hit the wall with a sickening snap, followed by the rest of her. The monster snapped it's fingers, and the people on the floor, not noticed until now, rose up. Some of them were bleeding from injuries, others didn't have a single scratch on them. At this point, Usagi screamed and blacked out.

* * *

When Usagi came to, the horde of people were back on the floor, unconscious, with the monster nowhere to be seen. The only difference from when she arrived was a small pile of dust. Acting on impulse, Usagi shakily got onto her feet... And fled. Running as fast as her feet could take her, she fled to the relative safety of her home.

* * *

Sailor Moon Says!

Usagi: What am I supposed to do?

Luna: This is where you're supposed to give the viewers a life lesson.

Usagi: Um... I don't know. I musn't run away. I can't. I can't do this. I can't do this!

At this point, Usagi broke down. Until further notice, Sailor Moon Says will be cancelled.


End file.
